Our 500-Pound Diet

We're going on a diet.  Well, not us exactly, because losing 500 pounds would leave the five of us a little over 100 lbs to share!  But our house is well-nigh obese.  It's overflowing with stuff that constantly has to be put away, cleaned, dusted, and repaired.  The worst thing about this is the constant decisions we have to make:

"Where does this go again?"

"Don't we own two of these?  Can we get rid of one?"

"Is this even ours?"

It's a burden, all this stuff.

Speaking of "stuff," have you seen this?

George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"

Anyway, I've decided that we're going to lose 500 pounds.  We're well on our way already.  We've lost 277 pounds!  Maybe we have really heavy stuff...

At this rate, I may up us to 1,000 pounds.  It's kind of embarrassing that our house is so fat.  Nearly everyone else I know has slim houses.  And I imagine them tidying up in a few short minutes.  

Wanna buy some stuff?!